A Recovering Christian

Let me begin by saying that I am the son of a preacher and a missionary, the nephew of a preacher and am an ex- ordained pastor myself. For my family, the church was at the heart of everything we did. Going to church on Sunday was “of course”. Bible studies, mission trips, church camps and more were standard parts of our weeks, months and years. Being a “Christian” was the keystone of my identity and likely the first thing I would say when asked to describe myself.

The foundation of this identity was the heart of what I understood Jesus’ message to be — Love. It really isn’t more complicated than that; Jesus said love everybody. Don’t be picky, don’t judge, don’t condemn, don’t ostracize; just love. Love your neighbor as you love yourself, even if your neighbor is one of those Samaritan bastards that no-one likes or trusts.

The message of “do unto others” and “as you have done to the least of these so shall be done to you” burned in my heart and motivated me to try for many years to do two things. I wanted to live a life of service and I wanted to share this amazing message with other people. I wanted to help make this message of love and acceptance available to everyone and to help build a world where all of us could live that way, as Christ directed us. Imagine how wonderful that could be.

We formed communities of Christians, often called congregations. A congregation should be like your family but better. It shouldn’t care about the clothes you wore to services. It wouldn’t think twice about the hair on your head or your face or anywhere else, or if you have tattoos or piercings. And it certainly wouldn’t care about your race or your gender or your age. Rich or poor, all are God’s beloved children and all are welcome at God’s table. That’s what the Bible says, it is what we were taught, and what I preached, fully believing that all my Christian brothers and sisters thought the same.

But I was wrong.

That is Jesus’ message (I’ve rechecked it many times) and it is what is generally preached in churches around the world. But it is not what is acted out in those same churches or lived by their parishioners.

There is an often told story about one of the mega-churches in a US city that was looking forward to its new pastor arriving and beginning his work. The sanctuary was full of anxious and excited members, all dressed in their “Sunday best”, looking this way and that for their first glimpse of the new spiritual leader. As the crowd waited with growing impatience, there was a homeless man dressed in torn, raggedy clothes wandering around the back of the giant hall asking for help or for food. Most of the people completely ignored him and his pleas, but there were some who thought this was not the best day for that so kept trying to ask him to leave and escort him out.

You’ve probably guessed that the “homeless man” was in fact their new pastor. He eventually made his way down the central aisle to the front of the church as people tried to stop or restrain him. Once there, he removed his disguise and introduced himself and began to describe his experiences of the last few hours and the “welcome” he received.

He read the scripture from Matthew 25 “I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

The story concludes that the congregation recognized their error and vowed that day to change. And perhaps they did. But their story is not unique.

“Christians” around the country regularly reject the poor, the hungry, the imprisoned and those different from themselves. “Christian” leaders leap to embrace politicians who trample on these simple directions from Jesus so as to achieve their own political objectives. They seek the spotlight of fame and a seat at the high table where everyone reverentially calls them “pastor this” or “bishop that”. Rather than welcoming everyone to the house and to their table, they close the door in the face of everyone who doesn’t look, speak, pray or worship exactly as they do.

This is the “Christian” church of today and I wish no part of it. I’m not sure that Jesus would want any part or association with it either.

I still revere the simple, powerful message of love and acceptance that Jesus shared with all people and I still strive every day to live that call. But not as a christian. I know I am a much loved child of the creative force that powers the universe, and I am brother to all. All, regardless of gender, sexuality, race, creed, color, height or shoe size, are part of my family. Our connections are obvious and undeniable if we just open our eyes and our hearts.

I neither need nor want a named religion to try to tie us together as they ALWAYS fail. Religions, all religions, divide us into believers and non-believers or heretics or infidels, the “others”. They try to teach us that only “we” know the real truth and if you believe anything else you are doomed. So sorry.

I know, loving real people is hard. It is so much easier in the abstract, but the reality is that there will always be those that we find particularly hard to love. Those whose personalities are abrasive, those who have made choices fundamentally different from what we believe, and those who treat us badly. Some people make it really hard to love them. But loving them is what we are called to do, even if we don’t like them very much. Welcoming them to a seat at the table, promoting their right to live and speak, and honoring their right to decide differently than us. No one claims that this is easy, but it is right.

Really loving real people asks more of us than sending a check to the Red Cross or having a payroll deduction for the United Way (no disrespect to either). We are called to actually, physically meet these real people and show them love. A smile, a hug, a sandwich or warm clothes are gifts so easy to give that can make such a difference in someone’s life. Or it can be as simple as sitting and listening without judgment or argument to someone who sees it completely differently than you do. That’s love.

Love is the question. Love is the answer, the only one that matters.

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